In dark times like this is when I really need to guard my heart.  Only Jesus can give me that peace of mind (Philippians 4:7).  Only God can protect me from the dangers that my dark heart desires.  I need the Lord to cleanse my heart and let Him be the ruler of my life (1 Peter 3:15).

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

Philippians 4:8

Lord, I give thanks to you.   I lift my praise to you.  In my time of trouble, in my time of darkness, in my time of sin – I want  you to get me out of there!  Help me, God.  I can’t do this on my own.  Cleanse me.  Fill me with your spirit.  Make me be right again in your eyes.  Give me the strength to go on.  Amen.

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Am I Hurting?

I sometimes think about the past, and wondered what if I should have done things differently.  I should have taken better care of my body so I don’t feel so frail in this old age.  I should have studied more, so I could get better grades and not disappoint my parents.

Am I Exhausted?

I thought about my past mistakes that led me into sleepless nights worrying.  I’d wake up tired in the morning.  When I just didn’t take care of myself, my mind started to entertain the thought that this life is just hopeless and pointless.  Low energy = Low self-esteem.

Am I Angry?

Commuting to work an hour each weekday is enough to give myself a chance to get angry on a daily basis.  Interaction with friends, family, and co-workers is enough to make me mad (and go mad).  There are situations that I’m just helpless, like the politics in this country (and my workplace too)!  Those things make me angry.

Do I Resent Anybody?

I sometimes wonder about the friends I made, and how they don’t want to be in touch anymore.  I sometimes wonder why family behaves badly.  When people takes me for granted, I’m just full of resentment.

Am I Tense?

The thoughts of not being in control will cause me to stress.  When I’m stressed, I get tense.  I’d repeat the negative thoughts, over and over, until it becomes a full blown worry.

When my heart is showing the full ugliness of my feelings, this is when I need to the H.E.A.R.T check. I ask myself those questions and do something to remove the bad elements in my heart.

When I can answer the above questions, my burdens will be lifted.

…Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

Galatians 5:22-23

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All a man’s ways seem right to him, but the LORD weighs the heart.

Proverbs 21:2

Test me, O LORD, and try me, examine my heart and my mind;

Psalm 26:2

I must look at my heart and my motivation.  Am I missing the “routine” of devotional blogging on mondays, or am I missing talking to God?  God will speak to me at any day of the week.  His message is always relevant.  I have to present my heart to Him and set my motivation for God’s work.  That is all He wants me to do.

Thank you, Lord, for revealing your truth to me.  Examine my heart and correct my motivation.  All I want is to listen to your truth and serve you.  I want to give you my best.  Remove any self-righteousness that may have creep out of me.  Cleanse my thought so I may walk in the right direction – towards you, God.   Amen.

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In what way can I see myself passionately serving others and loving it?

The Purpose Driven Life, p. 240

I love when I see others succeed, or accomplish their goals. When I can help, that is especially rewarding, because I have the chance to serve. Sometimes it’s no wonder I am always in a technical support role. My job has been described as a “Thankless Job” or a “Slave to the System”. If I love this job, all the thanks that I ever need is from God. When God uses me because I’ve been gifted by Him and I whole-heartedly like it, I am shaped to serve God.

A rather contextually appropriate verse comes from Ephesians 6:5-8 (NLT):

Slaves, obey your earthly masters with deep respect and fear. Serve them sincerely as you would serve Christ. Try to please them all the time, not just when they are watching you. As slaves of Christ, do the will of God with all your heart. Work with enthusiasm, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people. Remember that the Lord will reward each one of us for the good we do, whether we are slaves or free.

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Which is more pleasing to God right now – my public worship or my private worship? What will I do about this?

The Purpose Driven Life, p. 106

It is hard for me, as a busy IT professional and a family life, to have free time. Like I previously blogged, I get most of my “worship” time in the car during commute. Now I realize that God is not looking for a routine, or even quantity time. He’s looking for quality time, even if it’s only a few minutes. However, I must know where my heart is when I worship God. When my attitude is correct, God is pleased. My private worship is to sing, pray, and talk to God constantly.

My public worship was, so far, going to church, to sing and listen for God’s words. I will also witness God’s message to others, but that doesn’t happen as often as I wanted to. This blog is another form of my public worship. God had planted this idea in me for over a year, but I was too stubborn to follow through. Now that it’s already rolling, I am glad God gives me this avenue to share His word with others.

Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.

Mark 12:30 (NIV)
Also a praise and worship song from Lincoln Brewster‘s “Love the Lord”.

Additionally, one my favourite song that describes the right attitude of worship is from Matt Redman‘s “Heart of Worship”:

When the music fades and all is stripped away
And I simply come
Longing just to bring something that’s of worth
That will bless Your heart

I’ll bring You more than a song
For a song in itself
Is not what You have required
You search much deeper within
Through the way things appear
You’re looking into my heart

I’m coming back to the heart of worship
And it’s all about You
All about You, Jesus
I’m sorry, Lord, for the things I’ve made it
When it’s all about You
All about You, Jesus

King of endless worth, no one could express
How much You deserve
Though I’m weak and poor, all I have is Yours
Every single breath

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