Then it hits me.

I’ve been slowly raising the standards of my writing. It’s no longer about writing instantly whatever is on my mind.²  It’s now about collecting my thoughts and ideas on any single topic, and spruced them up with links that I’ve researched along the way.  Over the years, I’ve came to realize blogging suddenly took a lot of effort!

Then there’s the problem of feedback. I have very few followers of this blog (thanks, Steve! ). It’s hard to gauge how my efforts are being evaluated. So the gratification level of blogging went down in the past few years.

I’ve considered many times to just abandon this blog and just go do micro blogging on Tumblr.  People do (myself included) have a very short attention span. They’ll only respond to pictures or videos. They’ll sometimes respond to sensational/weird headlines, but even then it’s not a sure thing.

Perhaps this Project Triangle says it all:

“Pick Any Two: Fast, Good, or Cheap.”

I can do it fast and good, but I’ll need to pay other people to help me write.

I can do it fast and cheap, but I doubt it’ll be good – at least not all the time.

I can do it good and cheap, but it’s definitely going to take time. This is pretty much the mode I’m in right now.  I’m the only writer and I try my best to make it good.

So, with the world, nowadays, going at lightning speed, hungry for quality stuff, and want everything free, what can this part-time blogger do?

Photo Credit: Christian

This article was posted on Rudy Amid's Blog:

Fast, Good, or Cheap

1. But the whole blogging mania started around 2001
2. I’ve got the social networks like Facebook and Twitter for that.

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I’ve seen it happen to my friends with controlling parents.  One of my best friend used to read encyclopedias and dictionaries on his spare time, because his parents demanded it.

When I visited another friend, I heard his mom kept saying, “See, why can’t you be like your friend here?” to her own son.  I later found out this was typical thing to do in a traditional Chinese family – to put down your own children to make your guests look good.

Looking back, I believe most parents, Asians and Westerns alike, have the best of intentions for their children.  As a parent myself, I understood why they did what they did.  Living in North America, my wife and I have struggled (and argued) on which tradition to hang on to. Parents in Western society are generally more relaxed and open minded.  They’re calm,  talk softly, and use negotiation techniques with their kids.

However, Western parents do have extremes.  I’ve seen parents who are push-overs. Their children threw temper tantrums and the parents just sat there, looking defeated.  When the children misbehave repeatedly, there was not enough being done to discipline them, and dismissed as “that’s just who they are”, or worse, “they have ADHD“.  People say it’s not good for their psychological development if we yell or physically punish our kids. They say they’ll grow up angry and violent.

Actually, looking back, I think my parents were not that strict.  There were discipline in the house, but it was relaxed. I got to watch TV every day. They did expect me to get good grades, but it was OK if I didn’t.  I learned to play an electronic organ (not piano), but I didn’t  have to be good at it. My dad would take me to the golf driving range, but didn’t push me to practice much.  I was left to do whatever I want in high school and college.

I lacked focus.  Without focus, I couldn’t value discipline.  My priorities were all wrong. I wanted stuff for me first and didn’t care much about others.  I had a terrible temper, whined a lot, and had no life goals.

Now, I appreciate the value of discipline.  I wish I could go back and begged my parents to be a “Tiger Mom” and “Tiger Dad”, and whipped me into shape with a strict regiment of routines.  I would love to be good in piano, playing golf, and finish school with distinction.  Another words, I would love to be pushed beyond the limit of my abilities. With such accomplishments, I would have a higher self-esteem and wouldn’t have the need for entitlements².

So, should I be a Tiger Dad to my child?  The answer lies in between.  Yes, I have to be strict and enforce the house rules as set by my wife and I.  I have to set life routines and higher expectations. I will be pushing her to step out of her comfort zone – many times over. I also have to be calm, talk kindly, and give lots of hugs & kisses to my daughter.

Because at the end of the day, it’s all about love.

Photo credit: juanluisgx

This article was posted on Rudy Amid's Blog:

Me as a Tiger Dad?

1. It’s based on her book “The Battle Hymn of a Tiger Mother”
2. either from family or the government

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Being spoiled meant developing a habit of getting whatever I wanted.  So, I had a tendency to buy on impulse.  For years, I accumulated a lot of stuff.   Most of them became junk because of lack of use.  At first, I felt like I had to have them, but got bored of them quickly.  This is not a good habit.  As I grew up, I knew I had to change this feeling and learn to control my impulses.  Otherwise, I’ll be wasting my money on meaningless little things that has no lasting value.

I have ways of overcoming my problem of the urge to splurge by asking myself these questions:

1. Is it something I need or want?
   This works all the time.  All of my impulse buys are based on emotions.  Sometimes it’s the excitement of the moment.  Sometimes when I’m feeling depressed or bored, I feel the urge to just buy anything shiny and new, hoping it’ll cheer me up.  Over the years, I learned buying whatever I want is counter-productive and wasteful.   I always have to ask if I need it.  For example, buying an MP3 player for my car is needed because I commute almost an hour each weekday.
2. Is it just for me, or will it benefit others in my family?
   I can no longer think for just myself.  I live with my wife and daughter, so my decisions will affect them.  It’s important that I think about sharing my spoils with them.  Share the wealth, share the joy. For example, buying a DVR or media player so my wife and kid can play their favorite shows on-demand.
3. Can it wait?
   I can use the 30-Day rule where I’ll contemplate my reasoning behind the potential buy.  Waiting 30 days also has the advantage of watching prices drop.   I’ve tried this with my recent PC build shopping list.  I knew I needed the new computer, but buying the parts didn’t have to be done on impulse, taking whatever is “the best” one out there.   For example, I was able to wait for a weekly online sale, to get a better deal on a hard drive, and saved at least $20.
4. Is there an inexpensive alternative?
   In today’s competitive market and freedom of choice, there’s always an alternative to everything.  I thought about my DVD collection.  I would make mistakes like buying Deep Blue Sea, a movie that was highly recommended by friends, but it wasn’t worth watching.  In this example, if I just need to watch the movie once, I could have just rented it from Blockbuster or Netflix.
5. Do I have the cash, right now, to buy it?
   A good rule of thumb for me is to know exactly how much money I have in my checking and savings account.  If I don’t have the cash for it, at that moment, then I just don’t buy it!  I can’t rely on credit card financing because it gives me the sense of false security that I can afford anything after a couple of paychecks.  When I was kid, my Dad used to tease me by saying a credit card was the way to get stuff for free.  Of course, back then, I didn’t know what a credit was.  Now I know better.  If used improperly, it’s a painful trap.  I used to take cash advances from a credit card, not knowing the interests (usually as high as 21%!) accrue as soon as I take the money out!  A very good example to follow is saving up some cash before buying anything.

Self control and discipline are needed to fight my urge to splurge.  Following the above rules will get me out of trouble, practically every time.

This article was posted on Rudy Amid's Blog:

The Urge to Splurge

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