Oct 09 2009
Letting Go
It’s difficult to go through life without being “in control”. When I have to depend on other people to help me through mundane stuff, it becomes totally unbearable. My personality is a somewhat of a go-getter. As much as I can, I create my own opportunities. If there’s something that I believe I can’t control, I’ll just dismiss it and move on. So naturally, I bounce through a lot of interests, hobbies, and relationships. I’m never satisfied. I’m never content.
I’ve always felt I had never accomplished anything good in my life. I beat myself up with this feeling. I felt guilty to having a very short attention span. I felt lonely. I felt sorry for myself.
I knew in my heart, this was not a good feeling. I knew I had to do something, but didn’t know what. Now that I found Jesus, it became abundantly clear that I wasn’t in control – never will! He’s in control. He’s the way, the truth, and the light. If I just focus my eyes on Him, my purpose is clear. My life becomes more fulfilling.
There were times that I held back giving up control and it was due to any of these combination:
- Pride
- Guilt
- Fear
- Worry
- Doubt
My #1 is pride. Raised in a rich family, my parents are the boss. I’m raised to think like them. It seems like an inherited trait. I try my best to be the boss of everyone. Then when I’m not, the other problem occurs: doubt and guilt. I would start questioning myself. I would feel guilty of doing the wrong thing (or doing nothing). Those feelings confused my life. I wondered if I’d ever accomplish anything. I lost control.
Thank God for Jesus! I can give my burdens to Him. He helps me overcome all pride, guilt, fear, worry, and doubt!
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.
