Devotional Time with God

I often wonder how good must I be to serve at church. I don’t have a singing talent. I can’t play an instrument. I can’t do public speaking. I can’t even memorize bible verses to share and witness to others! I just felt not like-able enough to be able to influence others to God.

Then God tells me in the bible:

If you worry about the weather and don’t plant seeds, you won’t harvest a crop.

Ecclesiastes 11: 4

I have to start serving now – I can’t wait until I’m “perfect” or “suitable” for God to use me. I’m always have to be willing and ready. I’m good enough as I am, to serve others. God will guide me along the way.  I must find ways to serve, no matter what, no matter when.

I’m ready, Lord. Use me!

It’s the new year already.  It’s amazing how time has continued to march forward, as if it’s an unstoppable army.  Many times I felt I need to catch up, or I’ll miss everything.

Of course that’s an exaggeration, because God has given a lot to my family and I in the past year.  I have worked hard to be where I’m at now.  But I’m here because of God’s grace and blessing. He’s guided me to the right path, and nudged me when I strayed.

This year is no different.  I expect God to continue performing His miracles.  I expect God to bless us abundantly.  I expect God to help me through the challenges in our lives.

I also know that God’s timing is beautiful (Ecclesiastes 3:11).  I know God wants me to devote Him first in my life.  I still know God wants to answer my prayers (Matthew 7:7-8).

I’m holding on to God’s promises.  I expect God to be with me all through the new year – and beyond.

The bible says:

A good reputation at the time of death is better than loving care at the time of birth.

Ecclesiastes 7:1

In this short life on earth, I must have the reputation in bringing the Jesus’ love to the rest of the world.  It’s the focus of my life to be kind and loving to others.  It’s not about the accumulation of money, nor about my net worth.  It’s about God’s worth.

I need to build a reputation of good character.  I need to live a life that’s pleasing to God.  When others see me living a Godly life, others will want it and bring them closer to God.

I’ve made progress before in getting my spiritual life fixed up (with God’s help), and resisted temptations to revert back to my old selfish and angry self.  But sometimes, the devil got a hold of me.  Sometimes I’m vulnerable.  Sometimes I relapse.

The reasons I relapse are due to the following:

I revert back to my own willpower.  God is in control of my life, but sometimes I want to take the wheel back and steer my life in the direction I want.  Bad Idea.  If it’s not His will, I won’t.  I can’t be so foolish to go at it with my own power. (Galatians 3:3)

I ignore the need the exercises for recovery.  That includes:

1. Admitting I need Good
2. Acknowledging God has the power to change me
3. Making commitment to let Christ control and care for me
4. Examining myself openly and honestly and then confessing my faults,
5. Submitting to the changes God wants to make in me.
6. Repairing relationships.

I don’t use my support.  The bible says, in Ecclesiastes 4:9-10, I need others to help me.  I need that special someone to help me go through my issues.  I need him (or them) there to listen and counsel me.

I became prideful.  For me, this is a difficult urge to fight.  After years of bad habit, I couldn’t just throw it out overnight.  It’ll take a lot of effort on my part to get over this weakness.  Being prideful will prevent me from seeking help. As the song said,

Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will life you up.

James 4:10

I’ve stumbled many times.  I’ve relapsed.  I have went back to my old selfish, undisciplined, unaccountable self, many times before.  It’s not easy to do the right thing.  It’s not easy to keep up the high standards that God wants me to have.  It’s not easy being a Christian.  Temptations are many, and my strength is weak.

There are several reasons why I relapse:

1. Complacency
2. Confusion
3. Compromise
4. Catastrophe

Just when I think I’ve understand how my mind and body works, I tell myself I’m strong enough to handle things on my own.  Just when I think I have my bad habits beaten, I tell myself it’s not so bad after all.  Just when I think I can resist all temptation, I tell myself trying out a few old habits won’t hurt me anymore.   Just when I think it’s all good, bad things will tell me all hope is lost!

I need to grow!

I need to keep up with my devotional with God.  I need to continually turn myself over to God’s sovereign power.  I need to share my hurts and feelings to an accountability partner (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10).  I need to stay humble (James 4:10).

It’s better to enjoy what we have than to always want something else, because that makes no more sense than chasing the wind.

Ecclesiastes 6:9

Enjoying what I have is something I’ve known to do for a while. I am happy to admit that I don’t have a grand ambition to own bigger, better, or shinier things. I have learned to be happy with what I have, as long as it’s not broken or unusable. It’s not say that I’ve not yearn more than my earning. I had thoughts about earning more money to buy more stuff. I even have been depressed and irritable when I don’t get what other people have. The bible warns me about wanting more money because I’m unsatisfied, in Ecclesiastes 5:10,

If you love money and wealth, you will never be satisfied with what you have. This doesn’t make sense either.

I must choose to love people. I must slow down on my wants and worldly desires. It is my choice.

In conclusion, this is the order that God blesses:

1. Dedicate money to God
2. Tithe it
3. Save it
4. Repay it
5. Enjoy it