Devotional Time with God

I have to first let God help me. Then I have to understand and help others. Finally the last couple of things I need to do are the difficult one: be willing to absorb the pain. I must not let the cycle of hate, spite, and revenge to go on. It ends with me, even if it’s not my fault. Jesus is the best example of this:

Christ died for us at a time when we were helpless and sinful.

Romans 5:6

He sacrificed himself when I don’t deserve it. I make the mistakes and He takes the blame. So I must be more like Jesus and absorb the pain, for the sake of reconciliation. I must emphasize reconciliation more than anything else, even over resolution. I must re-establish the relationship with others – it is the utmost important. I must not be self-centered.

Oh let us be a generation of reconciliation and peace
And let us be a holy nation
Where pride and predjudice shall cease
Let us speak the truth in love
To the lost and least of these
And let serve the Lord in unity so others will believe L let us be a generation of reconciliation and peace

Oh let us be a generation of reconciliation and peace
And let us build on one foundation
Till He comes and the wars of men shall cease
Let us share the Love of Jesus without hypocrisy
Let mercy and forgiveness begin with you and me
Let us be a generation of reconciliation and peace

Have we not one Father?
Have we not one faith?
Have we not one calling to become one Holy race??
Let us be a generation of reconciliation and peace

And let us pray for restoration
And seek the Lord together on our knees
Let us keep our hearts from evil
And cling to that is good
Let us honor one another and love the brotherhood
Let us be a generation of reconciliation and peace

MORRIS CHAPMAN
RECONCILIATION SONG

I have to ask myself, what matters most? Is it my job? My family? My posessions? My health? They may seem important, but they ought not to be. The bible says in Romans 6:13,

Do not let any part of your body become an instrument of evil to serve sin. Instead, give yourselves completely to God, for you were dead, but now you have new life. So use your whole body as an instrument to do what is right for the glory of God.

I am to be used for God’s purposes! I’m not here to look good, feel good, and have the goods. I need more than that! I need the purposes that God has for me. Jesus came to earth to give Himself as a sacrifice, and to give us a new life. He is giving us God’s amazing grace for every race.

I thank you, Lord, for saving me. Your birth signifies the new birth in all of us. I don’t deserve to be saved, but you’re a God of love, and you want to save me. Thank you, Jesus for everything you have done. Let your will be done, in this day and the days ahead. Amen.

As I reflect on my personal story, who does God want me to share it with?

The Purpose Driven Life, p. 296

Currently I am surrounded with people who are well to do. They have what they need and then some. That is the problem: when it’s good times, there is no God time. Upon reflection, seems like my life comes around in a circle. Let me try to break it down.

I was introduced to church at around the age of 14 by my oldest sister.  Previously, I was just a buddhist, taoist, or atheist(?). A teenager that was easily influenced, I went along with the group, just to meet people, and hang out on sundays and fridays. Did I know Jesus back then? Sure, I know who He was, what He had done, and sat in sunday school. But do I really know Him? I suppose not, because all I did at church was goof around, talk to friends (who were not as serious as I was), listen to gossip, didn’t read my bible, etc. I basically was the church “bench warmer”.  My church back then wasn’t focused on discipleship, so I really didn’t need anything from them.  We were a financially secured family.  I felt in control of my own life. I went to do whatever I wanted.

My stubborn heart kept me away from Jesus for quite some time. When I reached the age of 32, I had experience everything from broken heart, financial instability, depression (not knowing my future), and ridicule from others. My self-confidence was low. I was alone and was just trying to get by. Then a miracle happened: God gave me a woman that I could fall in love with again. As we planned for marriage, my oldest sister had to be re-introduced me to Jesus. Because of my past failed relationship, I had to get it right this time. Only God could make it right. So dedicated my life to Jesus and got serious with God.

As I learned to get closer to God, it was just a matter of time that my relationship, both to God and my wife, would be tested. I was laid-off from work and had an uncertain future. My wife and I had doubts about ourselves, but with God’s grace, we managed to keep it together and survived through it. The biggest life lesson I get from this is that God will use hardship to speak clearly of my dependence to God. I must look to Jesus for answers and a way out.

At this point, I’m still learning about God’s passions and what He has planned for me. He has moved me to care for others, give His riches back, support the church, and keep growing in faith. One thing I find that I like to do is sing contemporary Christian music such as Hillsong, Israel Houghton, Lincoln Brewster, Tree 63, Kutless, etc. Maybe God has put a passion to sing? Nah, my voice is awful. But I do love the experience of singing my lungs out to God. It is liberating, it is comforting, and it calms my sometimes agitated heart.

I am now involved in a loving and caring church. When I commit everything that I am made to be, God will surely use Saddleback Church to help me grow and maximize my purpose. It is the reason I am determined to finish this PDL book and really let myself be discipled by God and my small group.

Jesus has died for me and has given me grace so that I may live forever. All I had to do was accept Jesus and learn my purpose in this life, so that I may receive God’s eternal promise. I didn’t deserve His grace, but He gave it to me anyway. This life message is for everyone around me, and more.

And You saw me
When You took a crown of thorns
And Your blood washed over me
And You loved me
Through the nails that You bore
And Your blood washes over me

Amazing like no other
Grace without an end
As Your word had promised
You died and rose again

“You Saw Me”, Hillsong Australia, Saviour King

What problem in my life has caused the greatest growth in me?

The Purpose Driven Life, p. 200

Searching through my memories, I can only come up with the unemployment experience as the defining moment of my life. But one incident is not enough to keep me growing. I know God has let many of life problems happen to me so that he may test my patience. I know this because the bible said in Romans 5:3-4 (NIV)

Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.

I recalled what happened in Feb 2005 when we tried to move to Orange County from San Diego. We had difficulties with the title companies, not responding quick enough to close escrow. Yantie was pregnant and very irritable. My real estate agent had his hands tied. We were at the mercy of the people who process the escrow paperwork. I remembered going to one of the title company in Aliso Viejo and my car’s MP3 player it was playing Jars of Clay‘s song “I’m in the Way“:

you sit and stare out at the sky
and think of ways to fake a smile
but life is never what it seems
sometimes it only takes a while

i’m in the way of fallin’ down
i won’t let you go that far now
i’m in the way of fallin’ down
i won’t let you go that far now

i won’t let you go

you think that hope was left behind
i picked it up a mile ago
i am running close behind
so don’t give up and don’t let go

God always catches me when I’m falling down. He’s always there when I’m trouble. The song lifted my spirits and reminded me that God would never let me down.

I managed to close escrow on both houses at the same time. My realtor said this was a very rare occasion that I could sell and buy at the same time. It was a timing that could only be achieved by God’s grace.

Now I look forward to my next problem, as it will serve a purpose. God’s will be done on me.

Honestly, are relationships my first priority? How can I ensure that they are?

The Purpose Driven Life, p. 129

Relationships are important. I want to go home, be with my wife and kid, because I value my relationship as a husband and a father, respectively. I talk to people at work (or at their house) because I value their friendship. I make my blogs and comment on other people’s blogs, because I value the interaction with people. Relationship is absolutely the driving force of my life. It’s no wonder that God has wired me this way – He wants me to love other people, especially with other believers. The only way I can ensure it’s my first priority is be kind to others, and get involved in the community and church.

Pastor Rick summarized it well in his book:

The best use of life is love. The best expression of love is time. The best time to love is now.

Verse to remember is Galatians 5:14 (NIV):

The entire law is summed up in a single command: “Love your neighbor as yourself”.

Finally, the song from Steven Curtis Chapman “All About Love” has the perfect lyrics for this:

Love love love love love …it’s all about
Love love love love love
Everything else comes down to this
Nothing any higher on the list than love
It’s all about love

Which is more pleasing to God right now – my public worship or my private worship? What will I do about this?

The Purpose Driven Life, p. 106

It is hard for me, as a busy IT professional and a family life, to have free time. Like I previously blogged, I get most of my “worship” time in the car during commute. Now I realize that God is not looking for a routine, or even quantity time. He’s looking for quality time, even if it’s only a few minutes. However, I must know where my heart is when I worship God. When my attitude is correct, God is pleased. My private worship is to sing, pray, and talk to God constantly.

My public worship was, so far, going to church, to sing and listen for God’s words. I will also witness God’s message to others, but that doesn’t happen as often as I wanted to. This blog is another form of my public worship. God had planted this idea in me for over a year, but I was too stubborn to follow through. Now that it’s already rolling, I am glad God gives me this avenue to share His word with others.

Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.

Mark 12:30 (NIV)
Also a praise and worship song from Lincoln Brewster‘s “Love the Lord”.

Additionally, one my favourite song that describes the right attitude of worship is from Matt Redman‘s “Heart of Worship”:

When the music fades and all is stripped away
And I simply come
Longing just to bring something that’s of worth
That will bless Your heart

I’ll bring You more than a song
For a song in itself
Is not what You have required
You search much deeper within
Through the way things appear
You’re looking into my heart

I’m coming back to the heart of worship
And it’s all about You
All about You, Jesus
I’m sorry, Lord, for the things I’ve made it
When it’s all about You
All about You, Jesus

King of endless worth, no one could express
How much You deserve
Though I’m weak and poor, all I have is Yours
Every single breath

What practical choices will I make today in order to grow closer to God?

The Purpose Driven Life, p. 99

I used to commute 3 hours from San Diego from/to Irvine. I had my car’s mp3 player playing all of my favourite Christian songs, such as Hillsong, Lakewood Church Live, and WOW series. When I sung those songs, I felt closer to God. I felt I knew what God had to say to me. Many times I really looked forward to driving that long distance just to get connected with God in my mobile sanctuary.

God wants me to know Him more. I need to be in total connection with Him. I need to talk to Him more. Pastor Rick suggested (in the book) to speak short sentences that glorifies God, such as “Thank you, Lord”, “I want to know you”, “Help me trust you”. They are breath prayers. I’ve used this a lot after taking a deep breath. They clear my mind of any worries and doubts. They are the most practical thing I can do to be closer to God.

Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.

James 4:8a (NAS)

What can I do to remind myself to think about God and talk to Him more often throughout the day?

The Purpose Driven Life, p. 91

When I look back at my life, I am reminded how many people that I call my best friend. Surprisingly, in my mind, those people I called my best friends are no longer accurate. Sure, we can get together, once in a while, and talk about old times. But, best friends are more than that. A best friend is someone I can confide in. A best friend is the one I talk to first when I’m in trouble. A best friend is someone I can rely on with my well being, as well as my family’s. A best friend is always there with me, either from a phone call or e-mail away. On this earth, that person is my wife, Yantie.

However, there is another, and He is my creator. God wants me to be His best friend. He wants me to be in constant communication with Him. He wants to be in my presence, as much as I want Him to be. He knows my deepest darkest secrets and He gives my well being. He is not just some far away distant friend; He’s right here with me at all times.

Who am I that You are mindful of me
That You hear me when I call
Is it true that You are thinking of me
How You love me it’s amazing

I am a friend of God
I am a friend of God
I am a friend of God
He calls me friend

God Almighty, Lord of Glory
You have called me friend

Israel Houghton, “Friend of God”
(Best rendition of the song is in Lakewood Church’s “Cover the Earth” CD)

This is what the LORD says: “Let not the wise man boast of his wisdom or the strong man boast of his strength or the rich man boast of his riches, but let him who boasts boast about this: that he understands and knows me, that I am the LORD, who exercises kindness, justice and righteousness on earth, for in these I delight,” declares the LORD.

Jeremiah 9:23-24 (NIV)

I was listening to one of my old CD in the car this morning, and I heard a very familiar tune from Maranatha 30 Years of Hope CD called “You’re Worthy of My Praise”. I reminded me of a time, in late 2001, I was in an unfortunate situation where I was out of a job for a few months. The support from my church and family were tremendous, but it was still a test of our faith in God. Pastor Greg in San Diego gave my wife and I, a scripture, Hebrew 11:1 which simply said,

Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.

Having faith in God will give us hope for the future. Sure, we still have our worries, we are only human, but Jesus has never let us down. We kept believing God will give us something good. In May 2002, I received the baffling call from my current employer: they were offering me a position with an increase in salary! We couldn’t be any more excited and the first thing I did was to play the Maranatha song and gave praises to God. That was one of the significant turning point of our lives, the one that we will never forget.

I will give you all my worship.
I will give you all my praise.
You alone, I long to worship.
You alone are worthy of my praise.

– Maranatha Singers, “You’re worthy of my praise”