Devotional Time with God

What is holding me back from accepting God’s call to serve him?

The Purpose Driven Life, p. 233

Lately I’ve been short with my time and confused on how I can fit into the church’s many ministries. I have a full time job, tasks at home to help raise my daughter, and help my wife. Plus I have not found a ministry at church that would take my abilities. I am good at handling systems, troubleshooting computers, and maintaining web services. Currently, Saddleback hires professional help to maintain all of their web needs. It is a matter of time before I can find a place for me, and for my family too.

Meanwhile, I will be scheduling a Class 301 to determine my S.H.A.P.E. This is necessary for me to determine where I fit in the church. But first I must do my Class 201. 🙂

The PDL book mentions that God will be angered and remove my eternal rewards if I do not serve, as mentioned in Romans 2:8. However in reading the entire verse, I believe Pastor Rick might be simplifying this a little because it says:

But he will pour out his anger and wrath on those who live for themselves, who refuse to obey the truth and instead live lives of wickedness.

I read the entire passage, God says He will be angered if I refuse to heed God’s word, refuse to serve, and live a wicked life. The whole chapter is a warning for the Jews to obey the law and not do evil (ie. break the 10 commandments). In conclusion, even though I must serve, I do not believe God will be angered by this. God will be disappointed. I’m sure He will find a way for me to realize this and serve Him and His people.

In what area of my spiritual growth do I need to be more patient and persistent?

The Purpose Driven Life, p. 223

After answering the book’s “Question to Consider” for past 10 chapters or so, it becomes clear to me that my main problem (being quick to anger) needs a lot of work and time to fix. I see myself correcting my attitude several times, especially during commute and dealing with co-workers. I need to have more patience. I’ve been dealing with this problem ever since high school. I was a sarcastic young man with no accountability, which led me to low grades in school and failed relationships. I wish I can say I’ve completely turned that around, but the turn is slow. I must be persistent and go against the resistance. I am encouraged when God has something to say about this in Habakkuk 2:3 (CEV):

At the time I have decided, my words will come true. You can trust what I say about the future. It may take a long time, but keep on waiting– it will happen!

In order for a tree to grow, it requires wind, sun, soil, and water to grow. The wind is the test and trouble in life. The sun is God’s grace. The soil is the people around me. The water is God’s word. Over a long time, I will need all of that to grow like a strong oak tree.

Who could I ask to be a spiritual partner to help me defeat a persistent temptation by praying for me?

The Purpose Driven Life, p. 216

My best friend is my wife. She prays for everything that involves the family. I’ve asked her to pray for my health, intercede for me, and keep me awake when I’m starting to fall asleep on the wheel (literally and figuratively). However, I do need another person to help pray for and disciple me, especially from a male perspective. I may ask one of the men in my small group (Jeff?). It is always helpful to have more people praying for my well being. I’m not trying to hog God’s blessings, but as God said, if two or more pray, He will be among us.

I love to have God’s presence in my life, all the time! When I focus on God’s will, there’s a way out of temptation.

What Christlike character quality can I develop by defeating the most common temptation I face?

The Purpose Driven Life, p. 208

I am just like any other man out there, the temptation storm is always raging within me. I would be driving along the road, noticed people would do stupid things with their cars, and I would be tempted to get angry and curse. I would be browsing the internet, sometimes pornographic images would appear, and then tempted to look and thought about it. I would have some free time, and my first thought to do something useless and ignore the need to meditate on God’ s word.

God promises that if I let the Holy Spirit rule my thoughts and actions, I will receive an antidote for temptation.  I will see the results in my life, as it is written in Galatians 5:23-24 (NIV):

But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!

I must take the opportunity to do good, instead of evil. I must not let the temptations lead me away from focusing on Jesus and His character.

What problem in my life has caused the greatest growth in me?

The Purpose Driven Life, p. 200

Searching through my memories, I can only come up with the unemployment experience as the defining moment of my life. But one incident is not enough to keep me growing. I know God has let many of life problems happen to me so that he may test my patience. I know this because the bible said in Romans 5:3-4 (NIV)

Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.

I recalled what happened in Feb 2005 when we tried to move to Orange County from San Diego. We had difficulties with the title companies, not responding quick enough to close escrow. Yantie was pregnant and very irritable. My real estate agent had his hands tied. We were at the mercy of the people who process the escrow paperwork. I remembered going to one of the title company in Aliso Viejo and my car’s MP3 player it was playing Jars of Clay‘s song “I’m in the Way“:

you sit and stare out at the sky
and think of ways to fake a smile
but life is never what it seems
sometimes it only takes a while

i’m in the way of fallin’ down
i won’t let you go that far now
i’m in the way of fallin’ down
i won’t let you go that far now

i won’t let you go

you think that hope was left behind
i picked it up a mile ago
i am running close behind
so don’t give up and don’t let go

God always catches me when I’m falling down. He’s always there when I’m trouble. The song lifted my spirits and reminded me that God would never let me down.

I managed to close escrow on both houses at the same time. My realtor said this was a very rare occasion that I could sell and buy at the same time. It was a timing that could only be achieved by God’s grace.

Now I look forward to my next problem, as it will serve a purpose. God’s will be done on me.

What has God already told me in his Word that I haven’t started doing yet?

The Purpose Driven Life, p. 192

I believe God has already told me to get a spiritual partner for discipleship and accountability. I must do the following to get a step closer to that:

• Know more believers.
• Trust other believers.
• Share with other believers.
• Pray with other believers.

I must not let my pride silence the voice of God. The actions I must take may not be easy and it will require me to get out of my comfort zone.

So Jesus said to the Jews who had believed in him, “If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”

John 8:31-32 (ESV)

God, give me strength to do your will. Give me the wisdom to know what is right and wrong. Open the doors that you want me to go through. Amen.

What is one area where I need to stop thinking my way and start thinking God’s way?

The Purpose Driven Life, p. 184

My relationship with others is my biggest struggle in life. I had failed relationships before, and it hurt. I had others betray me before, and it hurt. So many hurts, yet I still don’t know how to make it better. I feel I have this autopilot engaged in my mind when it comes to dealing with other people. First, I’m always skeptical of other people’s intention; I’m just not the trusting kind. Second, I’m selective on who I talk to; I’m perhaps judgmental. Third, I’m a real bad judge of character; The people who I thought are my enemies are actually beneficial to me, and my friends can become my worse enemy.

With this self-examination, I can already see why I should ask God to change my ways of thinking. I have to do a complete 180° turn and become the better person that God intended me to be. The verse for me to remember is in Ephesians 4:22-24 (NIV):

You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.

I must repent from my old ways. I must ask God to renew my mind. I must persist on growing up in the spirit.

In what area of my life do I need to ask for the spirit’s power to be like Christ today?

The Purpose Driven Life, p. 178

I pray every day that I can overcome my biggest character flaws: quick to anger and lack of discipline. I have a temper, and it can be a real bad one at times. When my temper flares, I make irrational decisions and say hurtful words. I’ve also been quite lazy and always think about myself and what other people can do for me. Usually, it’s the laziness that triggers the anger. It is causing havoc in my relationships with others – which probably explains why I don’t have many close friends. Who can live with my toxic character?

Fortunately, I have help. I have Yantie who keeps me in check of my bad temper and corrects me many times when I say something awful. She especially focuses on my lack of apologies when I do something wrong. It hurts (mostly my pride) to be corrected. This forces me to retreat and seek God’s holy spirit to change my mind and heart.

Amazing how much God can work in my thoughts and spirit. The molding process is not comfortable, but the result is a step closer to take on God’s values, attitudes, and character.

So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.

Romans 12:1-2 (Message)

What am I personally doing to protect unity in my church family right now?

The Purpose Driven Life, p. 167

I am in a warm and loving church because everyone cares about Christ, the community, and others. Saddleback Church has been the forefront in caring for the homeless in Orange County, honours the civil servants such as fire fighters and police force, and preach the word of God actively to the world. The church also takes care of its congregation by providing me with convenient time to attend a service, over 500 ministries to try, over 5000 small groups to join up, and many support groups to help anyone in trouble. Pastor Rick and his pastoral staff teach practical bible-based ways to equip my life.

However, I belong to an imperfect church. Why? Because I am not perfect. I had been to churches where gossip was rampant. I was in a church where the pastoral staff was removed because “he sinned”, but the congregation never knew about it directly (too many secrets). I had been to a church that was too methodic and strict. I had also been to a church where the leaders worry about how the church would look from the outside, and everyone acted superficial. No church is perfect because the people are not perfect.

But, I must try to get along. I must try to give my best effort to help my brothers and sisters. I must give my time to nurture relationship and fellowship. I must try to be like Jesus, because Jesus loves His church. I must love other believers, as Jesus has paid with His blood to save us.

So then, let us aim for harmony in the church and try to build each other up.

Romans 14:19 (NLT)

Who do I need to restore a broken relationship with today?

The Purpose Driven Life, p. 159

I had a disagreement with my older sister. She said something that I construed as hurtful, and I attacked her character. It was a battle of words, with neither of us, as stubborn as we are, wanting to admit defeat. Before we went our separate ways, we decided that we should pray to God, individually, and seek His guidance. For a while now, I’ve struggled with my thoughts and feelings about this conflict. Today, this chapter of The Purpose Driven Life book mentions 1 Peter 3:11 (NLT)

Turn away from evil and do good. Search for peace, and work to maintain it.

Now I understand that I must concentrate on restoring my relationship with my sister. I must attack the problem, not my sister. I must admit that I am wrong to perpetuate this conflict.

For about a month now that I’ve prayed to God and venting to Him how I feel about this. I no longer have bitter thoughts and hurt feelings, this is the best time for me to reconcile with her. So just now, I have sent my first email to her. Update is forthcoming.

Update Nov 12 2007: my sister emailed back and stated that she has forgiven me. I think it will take her some time to open up and write more on her thoughts on this.