Devotional Time with God

I’ve stumbled many times.  I’ve relapsed.  I have went back to my old selfish, undisciplined, unaccountable self, many times before.  It’s not easy to do the right thing.  It’s not easy to keep up the high standards that God wants me to have.  It’s not easy being a Christian.  Temptations are many, and my strength is weak.

There are several reasons why I relapse:

1. Complacency
2. Confusion
3. Compromise
4. Catastrophe

Just when I think I’ve understand how my mind and body works, I tell myself I’m strong enough to handle things on my own.  Just when I think I have my bad habits beaten, I tell myself it’s not so bad after all.  Just when I think I can resist all temptation, I tell myself trying out a few old habits won’t hurt me anymore.   Just when I think it’s all good, bad things will tell me all hope is lost!

I need to grow!

I need to keep up with my devotional with God.  I need to continually turn myself over to God’s sovereign power.  I need to share my hurts and feelings to an accountability partner (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10).  I need to stay humble (James 4:10).

A child needs to take a risk in this world.   Not the destructive kind, but a healthy one.  Risks such as not going along with the crowd, not easily influenced by the media (or what is “cool”).  Healthy risk is doing what God says, despite of worldly opinions.

With risk, there’s adventure.  Trying something new and sometimes fail at it.  Having the willingness to change for the better, according to God’s will, is another reason to keep going.  My child don’t always stay in her own comfort zone.  God will always challenge her to be someone greater.

My job, as a parent, is to encourage and support her, with the help of the holy spirit:

If you love me, obey my commandments. And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Advocate, who will never leave you. He is the Holy Spirit, who leads into all truth. The world cannot receive him, because it isn’t looking for him and doesn’t recognize him. But you know him, because he lives with you now and later will be in you.

John 14:15-17

It’s an adventure of a lifetime.

We are lucky that we have a small group that we can belong to. I really want us to get along and provide each other support. It’s so important in our spiritual growth to be able to fellowship with other believers. We’ve been to so many of them in the past. It was a merry-go-round trying to find the right fit (I was going to say perfect, but no one is perfect). It was either the group weren’t learning anything, or the topics discussed weren’t focused enough. With Saddleback Church, I’m glad they have awesome small group discussion materials to keep us going in the right direction. We’re on the series by Chuck Colson called “World View Point” – examining how we can cope in today’s ever diverse opinions and points of view.

From the sermon two weeks ago, I’ve learned that we have to do the following in our small group:

1. Decide to appreciate the difference.
2. Decide to do something new.
3. Decide to take a risk.
4. Decide to forgive.
5. Decide to encourage other’s growth.

We, as a small group, must be able to do the above. It starts with me. I must grow and encourage my small group to grow as well. The bible tells me so:

Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.

1 Thessalonians 5:11

In what area of my spiritual growth do I need to be more patient and persistent?

The Purpose Driven Life, p. 223

After answering the book’s “Question to Consider” for past 10 chapters or so, it becomes clear to me that my main problem (being quick to anger) needs a lot of work and time to fix. I see myself correcting my attitude several times, especially during commute and dealing with co-workers. I need to have more patience. I’ve been dealing with this problem ever since high school. I was a sarcastic young man with no accountability, which led me to low grades in school and failed relationships. I wish I can say I’ve completely turned that around, but the turn is slow. I must be persistent and go against the resistance. I am encouraged when God has something to say about this in Habakkuk 2:3 (CEV):

At the time I have decided, my words will come true. You can trust what I say about the future. It may take a long time, but keep on waiting– it will happen!

In order for a tree to grow, it requires wind, sun, soil, and water to grow. The wind is the test and trouble in life. The sun is God’s grace. The soil is the people around me. The water is God’s word. Over a long time, I will need all of that to grow like a strong oak tree.

What is one area where I need to stop thinking my way and start thinking God’s way?

The Purpose Driven Life, p. 184

My relationship with others is my biggest struggle in life. I had failed relationships before, and it hurt. I had others betray me before, and it hurt. So many hurts, yet I still don’t know how to make it better. I feel I have this autopilot engaged in my mind when it comes to dealing with other people. First, I’m always skeptical of other people’s intention; I’m just not the trusting kind. Second, I’m selective on who I talk to; I’m perhaps judgmental. Third, I’m a real bad judge of character; The people who I thought are my enemies are actually beneficial to me, and my friends can become my worse enemy.

With this self-examination, I can already see why I should ask God to change my ways of thinking. I have to do a complete 180° turn and become the better person that God intended me to be. The verse for me to remember is in Ephesians 4:22-24 (NIV):

You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.

I must repent from my old ways. I must ask God to renew my mind. I must persist on growing up in the spirit.

What practical choices will I make today in order to grow closer to God?

The Purpose Driven Life, p. 99

I used to commute 3 hours from San Diego from/to Irvine. I had my car’s mp3 player playing all of my favourite Christian songs, such as Hillsong, Lakewood Church Live, and WOW series. When I sung those songs, I felt closer to God. I felt I knew what God had to say to me. Many times I really looked forward to driving that long distance just to get connected with God in my mobile sanctuary.

God wants me to know Him more. I need to be in total connection with Him. I need to talk to Him more. Pastor Rick suggested (in the book) to speak short sentences that glorifies God, such as “Thank you, Lord”, “I want to know you”, “Help me trust you”. They are breath prayers. I’ve used this a lot after taking a deep breath. They clear my mind of any worries and doubts. They are the most practical thing I can do to be closer to God.

Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.

James 4:8a (NAS)

If the only thing that is going to last for eternity is your relationship to God, what are the implications for your values, your priorities, your possessions, and your schedule?

The Purpose Driven Life, p. 48

Yantie and I don’t travel very much. There’s a subconscious reason for it: we love our home! We like how we can do anything in our home. We like how comfortable our home is. We like that we have everything in our home. Every time we went on a vacation, after a while it felt uncomfortable being away from home.

This is what living on earth must feel like. We have so many issues here. Why can’t everyone get along? Why disaster happens? How come I feel I never have enough in this world? It must be because this is not where I’m suppose to be. God put me here temporarily. He wants me to learn and grow up here. I have to prepare myself to go home to heaven.

I didn’t have my US Permanent Resident card until 2004. I was here since 1997. Between that time, I had my doubts if I could stay here for the rest of my life. What was I suppose to do with my house? What was I suppose to do with my 401k? Where else could I go? Should I bother to do anything now? What about my plans to set “roots” in this country? All of those questions are the same ones that I have to ask about living on this earth. My eventual home is heaven, I must not be too bothered with the stuff that I accumulated in this world. I have enough to survive because God will always provide while I’m here. I have to believe that my daughter will grow up strong and healthy, and able to take care of herself. Life here is not a race for me to win. Life here is building a relationship with God, and preparing to become a permanent resident in heaven.

So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

2 Corinthians 4:18 (NIV)